Hi Baccha,

I know you are now lost inside the adult me whos busy with her life. You are juggling between relationships, studies, and a future you see. You currently need more time to find happiness in the small stuff. Your happiness now lies in your salary after the hard work or when a lecture ends early. The memories, sorrows, joys, and worries of past years have hit you hard, making you think about what was wrong.

 I know you miss your deep eyes, beautiful smile, and happy face. Hoping the days of happiness will come back to you. Your little happiness now lies in your salary after the hard work or when a lecture ends early.
Finally, it’s your birthday today; you’re out of your teenage years and far away from your family. Today you won’t be able to get all that love and cheer you were used to. There will be no more gifts, no more chocolates, no more night-outs with friends, and no more pocket money. You’re all grown up for everyone now, and they are looking at your ability to perform your responsibilities. 

Today you ask for that love and affection you used to get in your teenage years, but the time has changed, and you must forget it now. After many difficulties, you passed high school and are now in your profession. 

Now you’re considered a mature person, and everyone expects a neat and clean move in every situation you’ll encounter. I hope you can handle every single situation nicely without harming yourself. I know you are getting thoughts of harming yourself at your worst. Remember, I am with you, my love, and I know you’re strong enough to get free of things and live a better life.
Some of your favorite festivals went, but you were lost deep inside me and didn’t get a chance to enjoy them. I know you can’t express anything, but I know how you feel. Seeing LED shoes or bubbles doesn’t make me happy. 

Those kinds of stuff are lost after you had to hide inside me.
I know you miss running in the street carefree without worrying about an upcoming assignment or test. I wish you could dress up in anything you want without getting judged by a random aunty passing by. I miss the innocent and carefree kid you were in the past. 

If you work hard, dreams turn into reality, which is what you have been taught, but it’s only sometimes valid. Dreams are shattered into pieces that you can’t join back and build again. You can achieve it if you go the extra mile, but I can’t tell you it will be a dream come true. You slowly realize your vision is better while dreaming than coming to reality. 

You learned money is the only thing that runs in this society, and your dreams might not bring food to the table. You will realize being a model might not be a real job and might not help you bring food to the table. You will need another job to get food on the table. I know now you were keeping your dream within yourself, hiding it from everyone while am here doing something we both hadn’t imagined doing. Your plan could be a part-time job rather than a full-time one.
I want to dream about my future again and not worry about how I will achieve my goals and run behind them. I have ignored you a lot in the past few years, but now I regrate that I have forgotten you for a long time. I miss how you used to be, how you dreamt about life. But I know you didn’t have an option except to hide and make me mature. 

You should now know that there’s a world where a sweet child isn’t safe. It’s too fake for the child you are. I know I am not giving you the stuff you want like a bar of sweet chocolate that melts your heart or a cute teddy bear you could hug while you sleep. People now tend to judge you based on everything you do and how you speak up in public.
I know baccha it isn’t a piece of cake to stay strong for always. You are going to get through it. You will not always see down in your life. You will also face some ups too.